The muffin man
by ktwjdramaaddictedotaku
Summary: Naruto tells the akatsuki members what happened to Itachi. What's with the muffin man and gingerbread costume. Does Itachi crack? or is he playing?


A blond haired, blue eyed boy sat tied up in a wooden chair.  
He blinked up at the men (if you can call them that) surrounding him.  
"alright kid, where's Itachi-san?" asked a blue haired and skin coloured shark with a sword on his back.  
He blinked cluelessly at him, "who?"  
A blonde haired male stepped in "Naruto-kun you remember Itachi, the one with long black hair tied up in a ponytail, yeah"  
Naruto just blinked at him too.

"the one that looks nearly the same as your best friend Sasuke" butted in Kisame.  
"but with eye-bugs,yeah"  
Naruto gapped "SASUKE!!!! where!?!?!?!" he swung his head in different directions, searching for the other boy.  
A red head who stood behind them, sighed frustratedly, "no he LOOKS the same as your friend. Itachi Uchiha, did you see where he went?"  
"ooooooooohhhhhhh....why didn't you just say?"  
They all sweat dropped.  
"well, do you know......."  
Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Kakusu and Hidan all leaned forward and nodded to tell him to carry on.  
"....the muffin man!!!!!"

They all gasped as they jumped back.  
"THE MUFFIN MAN!?!?!?!" they shouted in unison  
Naruto nodded "yes the muffin man"  
"Tobi knows the muffin man!!!!!" shouted the man in the lollypop mask  
"which muffin man?" asked Hidan, eyeing the blond.  
"The one in the sand village" grinned Naruto  
Sasori walked out of the room without a word.  
They all gasped again "nooo"  
"the muffin man kidnapped Itachi and took him to the sand village!!!!!" Screamed Kisame  
"no" Naruto frowned at him  
"then what?" mumbled the male in a mask called Kakusu"  
THE MUFFIN MAN IS IN ITACHI'S ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"EEHHH?!?!?!?!?!" they all looked horrified at the possible thought of what might be happening up there.

"The fuck!?!?! Itachi's getting butt-raped by the muffin man!!!!!" yelled Hidan  
"oh no!! Itachi-san!!!!" yelled kisame holding his face as he cried.  
"that's right as we speak that is what is going on up there"  
They all looked up to stare at the celin, completely silent.  
They could hear silent jumping and banding off a bed.  
They shivered "oh Itachi-san is no longer innocent!! Yeah" whispered Deidara  
They all sighed.  
"and also"  
they looked up to look at Naruto again  
"the gingerbread man is watching as well"  
"aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"  
Deidara walked out of the room.

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Itachi stood by the door entrance, a grocery bag in his hands.  
His eye was currently twitching because of a certain story he had over heard.  
It was obvious they would believe the young boy, they were idiots after all.  
Sighing he made his way to the others crowding around the blond.

"you are all complete morons" came a cold, low and emotionless voice.  
Everyone felt a shiver run up there spines, but no one turned around to see who had spoke.  
Being very brave, Kisame turned around to face the speaker. Itachi.  
"I-Itachi-san?" Kisame still had tears flowing down his face.  
He lifted up his arms gesturing for a hug, but Itachi pushed the bags into his chest.  
Itachi threw a glance at Naruto who was grinning brightly at him.  
"I'm going to my room, don't disturb me" Itachi quietly began walking away.  
"so no children with the muffin man?"

Itachi stopped in mid-step, and spun to face Hidan he glared at him.  
"what?!?"  
"you know. You and the muffin man, maybe you're really a women, Itachi, you do look some what feminine" Hidan smirked he knew he was close to being murdered(even though he was immortal) and that Itachi was close to breaking point, just one more push.  
"and even Naruto here looks feminine but at least you can tell he's really a boy WITH a dick!"  
That was it, Itachi jumped forward his hands wrapping round his neck. His sharingan swirling, "look at my eyes Hidan!!! Don't make me use the finger!!"  
"oohhhh no the finger!!!! Look guys I'm getting hit on by a girl" Hidan faced the others while saying that he threw a wink at them.  
Itachi face grew redder with rage, "you stupid pathetic moron of an akatsuki" He stood up, brushing away the dust on him, before silently walking out.  
Everyone burst out laughing,  
"a girl!?!?" yelled Naruto still laughing  
"I….so did……not…see that…coming" Kisame said in-between laughter.  
"Tobi says it was a wonderful idea Hidan"

"SASORI!!!!!! DEIDARA!!!!"  
Everyone paused after they had heard that scream before once again laughing.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOloveXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXXOXOXO

Itachi sighed, 'stupid Hidan' he thought 'me a girl! What the hell has he been taking!'  
He threw open his door and stepped in, throwing his cloak on a near by chair.  
He froze. There, sitting on his bed, was Sasori, dressed as the muffin man lying in a very disturbing position.  
He twisted his head to a low giggle, here sitting on the chair he had chucked his cloak on was Deidara hugging said cloak. And he was dressed as the gingerbread man.

His eyebrow twitched.

Deidara stood up, slowly and seductively walked over to Itachi. He walked around him and stopped right behind him slowly putting his hands on his shoulders.  
"ohh Itachi-san, it looks like you have some tension there."  
Itachi brushed him away "get out" Deidara jumped at him, his legs wrapping around his waist .  
He stumbled backwards by surprise and landed on the bed with Deidara stradling him.

Sasori crawled up to him and looked at him as he knelt above Itachis head.  
Itachi felt blood rushing to his face, why were they doing this to him?  
"so Deidara, do you want to watch?"  
Itachi's eyes widened "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
He immediately pushed Deidara, and slid away from Sasori, running to his door, pulling it open(nearly off its hinges) as his sharingan was swirling.  
Deidara quickly ran out like the ginger bread he was, and Sasori in tow, lightly smirking.

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_**A few hours ago**_

_"oi oi!" called the blond haired boy from a wooden chair.  
Sasori turned around to face him. He was guarding him.  
"eh? Can you do me a favour?"  
"no"  
"but you don't know the favour yet!" He whinned at the red head.  
"yeah, and frankly I don't care"  
"it's to do about Itachi and a prank"  
Sasori's ears pricked up 'a prank?' he thought. Slowly he re-turned to face Naruto.  
"what kind of prank?"  
"oh one that will annoy and scare him" grinned Naruto.  
Sasori consided that for a while before he smirked.  
"alright, what do you want me to do?"  
"do you have a muffin man costume?"  
"………yes……"  
"and a gingerbread man costume?"  
"………………..yes……………"  
"good, I want you to throw out all the ramen.." Naruto let a tear slide "my poor ramen but I'll bug him for some and he will be forced to go buy me some"  
Sasori raised a eyebrow "what has that got to do about the costume?"  
"hold on! hold on! Listen will ya, jeeze get some patience will you"  
Sasori felt a vain pop.  
"alright, then the others will ask where he is and I will tell a story about the muffin man, when I say from the sand village I want you to go and get dressed into the muffin man costume, into Itachi's room and jump on the bed ,so it creeks and bangs the wall"  
Sasori nodded.  
"tell Deidara this too but he will dress as the gingerbread man and he must leave when I say gingerbread man"  
Sasori nodded again.  
"then once he's in his room scare him, anyway you want"  
Sasori nodded again, remembering the information._

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Itachi rocked backwards and forwards.  
He had figured out it was Naruto.  
"how did he get their help" he mumbled to himself  
"he's clever than he looks"  
Knock knock

Itachi flinched  
"GO AWAY!!!" he cried  
Naruto creeked the door open to see a sniffing Itachi in the corner.  
He felt a pang of guilt as he walked over to him.  
He knelt down next to him, and pulled him into a hug.  
"I'm sorry"  
'those idiots must have let him go...'  
Itachi mentally smirked, yep Naruto had now just played right into his hands.  
Itachi looked up and cupped his face  
"….Naruto…" he whispered to him

__

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_lol random I think  
well there we go just the muffin man  
lol_


End file.
